Change is hard: Things I'm adjusting to and what's going on in my life right now

While I do have a weekend-recap post to write at some point this week [I think], I've been really caught up lately thinking about just how much things have changed for me in the last six months. Because really, if I want to remember everything, I have to write about things other than weekend trips to London, right? Really, if you don't want to, you don't have to read all this.

The most obvious, based on this blog, is the fact that I'm living in a foreign country. Moving to a country where you only know about 3 people that you've met face-to-face [that aren't even the people you're going to live with] is tough, no joke. The only people I "knew" coming here were a few co-workers of my dad's. I was flying across an ocean to live with people I had never met...It was terrifying! Luckily, everything is going EXTREMELY well, I'm loving it here, the family is incredibly nice [hi guys! :)], I've met a load of other au pairs who are awesome, an old friend from home recently moved to London as well, and I've met some random people along the way also. Having the chance to learn about another culture and travel at this age is amazing, I'm so excited to be here. But with all good things come some bad...

The biggest change for me, though, is that my parents are in the process of getting a divorce after over 20 years of marriage. Learning about that was, quite frankly, the biggest shock of my life. They flew me home about a week after I found out about this job, and told me, since they wanted me to know before I made my final decision about coming here. That was one of the worst weekends of my life. I had just broken up with the boy I'd been dating for almost a year because of the fact that I wanted to come to England, and now my parents were telling me that they were getting divorced. Oh, and my mom wanted me to come home for part of the summer...to the house they were both still living in...At that point, ANYTHING sounded better than that. Especially running away to a country about 5,000 miles away from all that. Sounded good to me! I may be gone for now, but they both know I'm coming back...eventually. My current favorite phrase is "it is what it is" because there's nothing I can do but accept that it's happening. I'm not thrilled, but I'm less angry than I was when I first found out. I know I can't run from it forever, so going home and facing that again is going to be another major adjustment. I'll deal with that when I have to though.

Being done with school for good is a hard transition. When you've been in school at least 9 months out of the year for the last 16 or so years, every time you realize you're not going back again, it's a weird feeling. I never HAVE to read a book again. I never HAVE to shoot a photo assignment again. I never HAVE to write anything again. I never HAVE to be in the lab again. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it. School was fun, and I do miss it, but not enough to want to go back and do it all again, or any more.

Two weeks ago, I was the most homesick I've been the whole time I've been here [just over two months this week!]. I spent a good hour on Skype with my mom one night crying because I just was so upset. I didn't want to go home, but I was feeling very, very alone. Being around all new people is HARD. It's hard to tell someone your entire background story of your life in a few weeks, so I was feeling very much like I didn't have a lot of people around here that I could talk to candidly about a lot of things going on in my life..stuff with my parents and other random things from home. Don't get me wrong, the friends I'm making here are great, but you have to admit that nothing compares to the people that you know and that know you without having to dive in to a ton of background story for everything. Combine that with feeling like people from home were getting to the point of "out of sight, out of mind" with me, and I was really sad. I'm not mad at anyone, not at all. I know I've done it before, it's easy and I get that. I just was feeling very alone and missing a lot of people. Not to mention, I had been trying to nail down Christmas plans, and I wasn't feeling like I was getting a ton of response from my parents, which was hard for me to handle. It's all sorted now, but at the time, I was having a tough, tough week.

Time differences are so hard to get used to...especially 8 hours. Yeah, that's the time difference from here to California. All through college I called my mom almost every day at some point or another [and some days multiple times] just to talk and say hi. It was easy, because generally speaking, if I was up, so was she, because it was the same time where she was and where I was. But that doesn't work anymore, for a few obvious reasons. I'm 8 hours ahead of home, so the best time for me to talk to people from home is in the evening here, which is around noon there. Usually I talk to my dad a few days a week around lunch time, and my mom too. Right now my mom is traveling, visiting my brother and her brother, and my dad leaves on Monday for a big huge work trip, which unfortunately doesn't take him to England this year.

And those are just the "big" differences that are coming to mind right away. There are also a ton of little things that are different. Speaking the same language as everyone but still missing so much through accents and slight language differences. Right now I'd have to say the biggest one for me is the word "pants," which to me means anything that's not a skirt or shorts that I wear on my legs, but here means underwear. Yup, that's not embarrassing to say wrong. Not at all. Or the fact that I don't think I'll ever quite get used to the steering wheel being on the other side of the car, or that cars are driving on the other side of the road from what I'm used to. But, dealing with these things is nothing compared to the good times I'm having and the things I'm learning...like not to say pants. ;]

I have met a lot of really nice people here, especially the family I live with. I'm so, so glad I decided to do this, because I just know that if I hadn't, I would have spent the rest of my life thinking "what if?". Which would suck. I would have never had this opportunity again...to be able to experience so many new things at once is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Oh, and to all my family members reading, we'll be in Ohio for Christmas this year. My mom and I will be there December 14-January 5, but I'm not sure when my dad and Nathan will be there. California people...I'm sorry to say I won't be "home" [unless things change] until summer time.

I think that's enough rambling for now. Hopefully I didn't lose EVERYONE...but thanks for making it to the end, you didn't really have to read that all. =]